aaagh!

I did it… finally got pay back for bad choices… grrrr!  I am borderline wanting to cry but mostly wanting to kick myself.

I had a week of poor choices that didn’t do me in… not horrible cuz I actually lost weight, gave me a little sense of immunity…

Then I started evaluating my progress and let the enemy get a foothold.

If you are not into “t m i”…

well stop reading here…

I must confess this all because its real and that is who I am.

I am real and I won’t do anyone any favors by pretending this weeks thought process didn’t exist…

if you are looking at me and saying how great and wonderful i am doing on this wonderful weight loss journey…

if you are looking at me and saying how easy it seems…

if you are looking at me and thinking this will be a piece of cake, literally because she confessed to eating cake…

well just because one day at church you look at me and think, Charlotte is melting away … I wanna do it… and then you get into weight watchers or whatever program and end up struggling… well  I won’t be the one to mislead you and take you down the path of… “why is this easy for everyone else but not me”…

I have told you before that this weight loss journey… well it really isn’t about weight loss.  This journey is about submitting to God’s will.  Giving all my choices over to HIM and whatever happens, accepting whatever results I get… ultimately this phase of my life is about letting God work on me … I lack self control and self discipline, God wants me work on that THROUGH HIM.  Not so I can say I am in control but so I can say God has this… HE knows what is best and HE is in control!

Okay here is what you may not want to read… honestly this is real… its what has been going thru my mind and I promised God I would not hold back the lessons I am learning… just put it out there and if you don’t like it, well to bad… ultimately I am typing this to submit to God… this is real… my thoughts were real, my weakness is real and GOD IS REAL and HE WILL OVERCOME!

Here it is:

I was going to quit… because… to be honest…  I was going to quit because I didn’t like my sagging skin.  I don’t like my extra skin.  I don’t like that my chest is shrinking and drooping, I don’t like that I want to buy a new pair of spanks to squish my skin in instead of my fat… I don’t like that there is less of me and I can see where it used to be!!  Sure my clothes look cuter on but I sure as heck don’t feel sexy in my skin!  I keep telling my husband he has to let me know he still finds me attractive.  I keep on telling myself I feel better and have lost more weight than I ever have and keeping it off will be my new goal.  Its good enough.. I sure as heck don’t want to get saggier, I should just quit while I am ahead… RIGHT???

WRONG!!  When I started this journey I put a lot of prayer and fasting into it.  I argued with God.  I tried several different methods.  I had several different theories in place.  What I ultimately committed to… what I felt God was calling me to:

Healthy eating

An active lifestyle

Submitting every choice to HIM

Keeping on weight watchers till my birthday

and A healthy weight of 150.

Things were going great… I am nearly half way there… then the enemy tries to convince me that it is good enough.  The enemy used my vanity.  I was trying to keep myself grounded  by saying I wouldn’t let all the skinniness go to my head, that I would let it all be about God and not about my new look.  Guess what … it still needs to be that way.  Yup!!!  Break through to Charlotte!!  NO MATTER WHAT… GOD HAS THIS!  We talked about it and came to an agreement.  I was ready to walk out because of my appearance… vanity in a different light but still vanity.

Well I am back on board.  So very thankful that God forgives my unfaithful wavering … so thankful GOD has reminded me about why I am doing this in the first place.

I give my journey back to God… SUBMIT my will to HIM and keep on keeping on in HIS strength and HIS wisdom!!!  If I am a saggy package … I am saggy for God!

Okay a bit dramatic?  Thats how you know its me… I am a bit over the top!  I only gained 1.4 pounds taking me right back up to where I was two weeks ago… thinking its a God thing… that is EXACTLY when my thought process went the wrong way… God rebooted my program…

I did do some research and talked with my weight watchers coach, there is hope.  I didn’t gain this weight overnight and it won’t all go away overnight.  I have other things that need to be put into play… surprisingly right in line with what God wants me to work on (why would I be surprised about that)… more on that tomorrow… tonight I just needed to get real… and honestly I needed to do that with a glass of wine … the rest can come with my coffee!

I love you all for finishing this page… please forget about it next time we talk face to face… I will TOTALLY know what you are thinking and we will both be red in the face!!! ROFLWTIME!

LOVE YOU!!
Latte

guilty… but… what the heck??!!

So this evening I went to my Weight Watchers meeting.  I was CERTAIN I would be gaining weight so I made sure I had on my normal weigh in clothes so I couldn’t say my jeans were the reason I put on pounds… I was ready to face the music and get back on track.

I lost weight…. what the heck??!!

I stopped tracking on Friday night when I got to go eat pizza at Anna’s (had more than my fair share but did fall in love with the spinach, cottage cheese, yogurt version… recipe please!!)…

baby shower in the morning on Saturday (although I do vaguely recall grabbing a handful of apples to keep my hands to busy for a cupcake)…

wine festival (enuf said there, that involved food, wine and german chocolate cake) in the afternoon followed by

cuddling all weekend with my family while we hid away from Sandy which meant, pancakes, pizza, chips and dip, kielbasa stew with bread and butter, a bowl of german chocolate icing (1/2 cup) with my coffee on Sunday, a dr. pepper …

Seriously… I stopped tracking and I ADMIT THAT I ATE TILL MY TUMMY HURT! Okay only once, okay only twice fer sure… but still I was all like “I blew this week, I am totally gonna gain weight so whatevs … go big or go home” so since I was already home I went big…  I feel guilty for not gaining… weird but true.

In reviewing the parts of my week I DID track… I did exercise more, in prep for the wine festival and I did make wise choices till Friday night… and I still was able to make BETTER choices ( along with stupid choices like eating the bowl of icing.  In my defense I HAD to get it out of the house!) even while “misbehaving”… maybe the weight loss is God’s way of rewarding me for just dreaming about hot cocoa and twix bars last night (both attainable with in my house)… maybe its a reward for NOT eating that German Chocolate Cake that is taunting me while it waits to go to its intended recipient …. maybe not

I will take the weight loss… LOVE IT.. but I will remember the feeling of impending doom and not eat till my tummy hearts… cuz it not only hurt my tummy but I thought “weigh” to much about why my tummy felt ucky and it made it all the less enjoyable… love eating my twix bar much more when i can track it with no guilt!!

So my weigh in:

I lost 1.4 pounds this last week bringing my grand total to

-22.2

woo hoooo

Ooh I am trying out a new website.. has a great app to go with it.  I think it will help me with increasing my activity as well as making healthier eating choices… if you wanna check it out go HERE!  Slim Kicker… it tracks your exercise and movements, and you’ll rack up points as you move more. You upload a picture of something you’ll reward yourself with (like a dress, twix bar… you pick the reward). When you rack up enough points and level up, we’ll remind you to reward yourself.  So far I have joined two challenges: 1) drink 8-8 oz glasses of water and 2) do 10 squats a day.  I am excited to see how this will help me to get moving more and reaching my weight loss/health goals faster!    I promise to blog about it sometime this week, if you check it out let me know what you think!

Now off to do 10 squats, go to sleep and dream of hot cocoa  or maybe just have some first!

Hugs,

Latte

getting it done!

Hey All!

Sooo excited!!  I just have to share that I did it!!  I goaled myself with losing 2 pounds this last week … and I did!!  I actually lost a little more than that… 2.8 pounds to be exact!  Wooo Hooo!  I got a cute keychain for being at my 10% goal.. and a bravo sticker and … the ability to say I am DOING it!!!

 

doing it!!!

 

I feel like a million bucks!  I have some celebrating to do!!  Woo Hooo!!!  I am attaching a pic of me on Sunday… never seem to take pictures of myself… I had Alyssa grab a pic on the way out the door to church… when I actually tried to look decent.  A few people have asked/suggested I update on pics so I can see my skinnieness as it happens so I figured one way to celebrate 10% was to start with the pics…  Sorry for the glare but … at least I took the picture and am posting it!

 

10%!! 179.6 and counting!!!

This week at our meeting we talked about 10 minutes… try to get an additional 10 minutes of activity every day… 10 minutes CAN make a difference!  If you are a crochet potato like me maybe you can just try for an additional 10 every day!  One thing I really like about my meetings is that we get suggestions on a new thing to tackle and then we make a commitment to ourselves (quietly if you don’t wanna share) on how to put this goal into our day to day life… this week I wrote down (and shared cuz it helps me be more accountable to share) I would play with puppy for 10 minutes instead of standing  by the door for his last potty break.

Well today I just don’t feel like sitting here, got some stuff to get done while I have the time and ENERGY!  I have to work tonight so if this house is gonna get cleaned up its now or never…

Fruit salad and house cleaning till 130!!  Using that weigh in high!!
Love and Hugs,
Latte

good planning!

Sorry this is late… busy day yesterday!

So this week my big thing has been planning.  I am always pretty decent about making plans for my families meals and such so now I just need to incorporate Weight Watchers into my routine… oooh yeah and my job at Michael’s!  In order to do this I am using two weight watcher recipes and two crock pot recipes for each pay period (cuz that’s how I plan… by pay-day).

As I plan my meals I will let you know what I am doing and maybe you wanna join the meal.  I used to do this with my Kimi… at least the crock pot part.  We both happened to have the same crock pot cookbook and we would both pick one recipe to try, share it with the other and compare notes… so for a pay periods meal planning we would try one Kimi pick and one Latte pick.  Well I am gonna go ahead and post my two picks from both the crock pot cookbook as well as my weight watchers cookbook.

CROCKPOT

From “Fix it and Forget It”, I choose to do MILE-HIGH SHREDDED BEEF SANDWICHES on page 130.  I have to say it is awesome!!  Kimi and I did that one before together and decided it was good on rice.  I entered this into my weight watchers recipe builder and it comes up to 13 points.  A bit high I suppose… if you put it on a bun add 4 ppv’s or if you use rice add 3 ppv’s for a 1/2 cup.  I will probably only eat half of the serving with my 1/2 cup of rice… or I may not even eat it as I do crock pot nights when I am not gonna be home, not that the hubby and kids would terribly mind surviving on hotdogs or cereal… but still…

My other crockpot meal was my own chili recipe.  A standard chili recipe usually has 7-9 ppv’s… I counted 8 for a cup portion and had half a slice of whole grain bread with country crock spread on it.

WW cookbook that came with my “your a sucka for an organizing system” purchase!

From “Ready, Set, Go!  I choose:  Middle Eastern-Style Chicken sandwiches on page 38 (5 ppv’s already figured out for me) and Easy Chimichangas on page 194 (7 ppv’s).

I had an uggh moment when I POST calculated my enchilada’s that I had at dinner… 15 ppv’s!!!  Thank goodness I hadn’t gone crazy and used up all my weekly allowance!  Seems like a drop in the bucket…  but considering I get 29 ppv’s for my day… wowza, I could have had a nice sized bowl of ice-cream instead… I could just see myself giggling thru the bowl of ice-cream!!

I DID weigh in yesterday and am happy with the results… so happy I came home and worked in the garden for an hour and powered thru the afternoon with cleaning… went to work at 330 and yawned for half the night… THANK YOU SKINNY CARAMEL MACCHIATO!!  I got the macchiato on my walk to work… only 3 ppv’s and such a wonderful pick me up… my celebration for reaching my first 10lbs!!!

So excited to have the first mile stone down!  I really feel like this is doable!

Here are my results:

DOWN AGAIN!! Lost 2.2 lbs for a grand total of -10.8!!!

I would like to thank RACHEL LEE!!  She called and got me to go to Zumba with her… a feat even Cynthia (whom I would do just about anything for) couldn’t get me to do.  I think that Zumba craziness was just what I needed to get that little extra off and reach my 10 lb goal!  I was so hoping to make it to that mark this week!!

Now I am off to craziness and cleaning.  So excited I get to go to church tonight!!

Hugs and Love,
latte